Forced To Move On : Falling Apart
by Aoifetello
Summary: When a seemingly normal patrol goes disastrously wrong, the Hamato clan find their lives falling apart. A revenge mission fuelled by hatred is now their top priority, and nothing will ever be the same again.
1. Chapter 1

The night air was bitter cold, as the wind mercilessly tore through the air with no regards to how sharp it was tearing at the exposed faces that were rushing for shelter in the streets of New York City.

The city that never sleeps had took a nap, as everyone quickly went indoors, it the wind too much for their already scorched faces. They had never seen wind like it, or more accurately never felt wind like it, as they were quick to retreat to the warmth and protection of their homes on the bitter cold night.

The moon was out, bathing the rooftops in it's white glow. Four figures sprinted past, their shadows barely appearing as they quickly moved on to another rooftop, their destination not too far away. As they skidded to a stand still, they all allowed themselves to catch their breaths, although the frosty cold air was hard to breathe in.

"Woah, dudes, is it just me or is it hard to breathe?" Michelangelo wheezed out, bending down slightly and putting his hands on his knees. All of his brothers began assuming the same position, as the air sliced at their lungs while they panted.

"It is the coldness of the air that is making it hard to breathe in, Mikey." Donatello said, swallowing hard as his lungs burned from the air.

"Winter hit New York hard this year." Leonardo said, looking at the vacant footpaths that glittered with frost. Winter had already set in, even though it was only the 1st of December. The rest of the clan looked at the streets below along with Leonardo, shocked at how empty New York was. They had never seen it so empty, so vacant.

"It's too cold for crimes, can we go home now? The sewer is actually warm compared to this!" Raphael grumbled, his breath coming out as a vapour cloud as he crossed his arms over his chest.

"Yeah Leo, my shell is gonna freeze and fall off!" Mikey shivered, his teeth chattering lightly. He hugged his arms around himself in attempt to keep some of his heat, but it was being stolen by the frosty air.

Leonardo sighed, scanning the streets a final time before allowing himself a small shiver. He turned to his brothers, smiling slightly at how all of their teeth chattered simultaneously, as they hugged themselves for heat.

"Let's go home, I doubt anyone will be out in this weather." Leonardo agreed, leading the way towards the nearest sewer grate. Running certainly helped keep the cold at bay, but their breath was still visible, little vapour clouds puffing out of their mouths every time they breathed out.

As Leonardo arrived at the last rooftop they needed to get to, he quickly stopped himself from jumping down to the alley below, seeing the shadows that lurked in the darkness. He raised a finger to his lips, right before anyone could breathe wrong, and held his arm out, making his brothers all take a few steps back. Leonardo pointed down towards the alley, allowing his brothers to see that much. They caught on quickly, slowly backing away until they all found the hairs on the back of their necks were standing up, and they dreadfully turned around, letting out audible gasps when they seen who was behind them.

There he was, standing in the flesh, was Shredder, his eyes narrowed, as an army of foot bots stood behind him. Shredder grinned at their reactions, enjoying the advantage he had. His voice boomed out when he spoke, "Get them."

The command was clear, and the footbots immediately obeyed the order, launching at the turtles from all directions. They got their weapons out in the nick of time, very close to being stabbed by the swords the foot bots wielded.

Leonardo swung his katanas, severing the heads of many foot bots at a time. Raphael stabbed and wounded with his sais, viciously attacking each one. Donatello could hit more with his bo staff, but it took more than one hit to take a bot down. Michelangelo was swinging his nunchucks with high energy and flinging many of the bots away from him.

It was a good hard defence, even Shredder realised it. Karai examined the fray, and looked up towards the tall man, asking permission to join in by just looking at him. Shredder nodded his head, and watched as the young kunoichi sprinted off into the fight.

Karai got into battle with Leonardo, their swords clanging loudly as they clashed together. Neither could land a hit, only block each other's strikes. Shredder impatiently watched, deciding to take matters into his own hands, and unsheathed a single hand blade. He marched into the fray, as Karai and Leonardo got closer to the edge of the building while they fought.

Leonardo had his back to Shredder, and Karai stole a glance to look up at him. She grinned, and jumped to the side, away from Leonardo's katanas. As the young turtle realised an opponent was behind him, he turned around sharply, his eyes widening as the single hand blade impaled his stomach. He let out a gasp, as Shredder ejected the blade so it would stay in his plastron. Shredder raised his foot and kicked him off the building, watching as the young turtle plummeted to the alley below, Donatello screaming his name as he witnessed what just happened.

The second youngest turtle abandoned his fight, running to the edge of the building and jumping after his older brother. Donatello hadn't expected the height of the building to be so high through his panicked mind, and he had jumped without proper calculation. As his older brother landed flat on his shell with a sickening crack, Donatello's legs took the full force of the fall, and an exploding pain along with two more cracks emitted through the air.

Donatello screamed in agony, as both his legs broke. He had fell onto his back afterwards, and now lay staring at the night sky, sweating although the air was bitter cold. He panted, clenching his hands into tight fists to try and bear the pain. Donatello's vision blurred, as he remembered his brother was more wounded than him.

Donatello rolled onto his front, stopping to take a few deep breaths to manage his pain. He pulled himself with his hands toward his older brother, deciding not to look at his probably now deformed legs. When Donatello finally reached his brother, he got himself up, and leaned his back against the wall, crying in pain when his legs moved.

Donnie's jaw dropped in disgust when he stole a glance at his legs. The left one had a squarish bump down below his calf, and was turning a dark colour, and because he was in the shadowed part of the alley, he couldn't tell what colour it had went. His right knee wasn't very centred, and had also turned a dark colour.

"Oh God...oh God..." He whispered to himself, hovering his hands over his legs. Donatello cursed at himself, why did he just jump off the building without checking the height first? Now he was no use to Leo. Now he couldn't get his older brother to his lab, and probably save his life.

Reaching down to his dying brother, Donatello pulled Leonardo up to where he was sitting, getting a pain filled groan in return. He lay his brother's head on his thigh, holding his hand as he watched his brother struggle to breathe.

"L-Leo?" Donatello choked out, squeezing Leonardo's hand. At this point Donatello didn't even expect Leonardo to open his eyes, but was astonished when his brother did.

"D-Donnie?" Leonardo barely managed to say, squeezing Donatello's hand in return. Truth was, Leo was terrified, not at the fact that he was impaled with a blade, but because he felt no pain. In fact he felt numb, his body gone past the point of pain.

"It's okay Leo, I'm here." A hard lump formed in Donatello's throat, making it painfully hard not to burst into tears. What made it even harder, was the fact that Leo was crying, squeezing his hand as hard as he could.

"I'm scared Donnie. I don't... I don't feel anything." Leo admitted his fear, tears streaming down his paling cheeks. Donatello's mind went blank, he didn't know what to say to reassure his older brother, because it was painfully clear, Leonardo was going to die, right here, in this dark alley.

"It'll be okay Leo. It'll be okay." Donatello couldn't hold his tears back, as they silently streamed down his face. He felt so guilty for saying that. Leo would not be okay. Leo was dying, and all he could do was say he would be okay, and rub his hand reassuringly.

Leo took a deep breath, putting his hand on top of his plastron, near the wound. He knew that the liquid on his hand was blood. He knew his minutes were now numbered, but he was absolutely terrified of death. The thought of leaving the world, leaving his brothers, his father. No more training sessions in the dojo. No more meditating with Splinter, or simply by himself. No more space hero episodes, or marathons. No more getting pizza, and having movie nights with April and Casey. He would never get to go on patrol again. All he knew, everything he loved, was gone.

Leonardo tried to calm himself, but the thought of his death brought even more dread upon him. He gripped his brother's hand tighter, as the world blurred.

"I love you guys, I love you all. Donnie, I'm...I'm scared." Leo cried to his younger brother, his vision blurring even more. "Donnie I'm dying!"

Donatello squeezed Leo's hand back, his tears flying out wildly. "I'm here Leo, I love you too. We all do." Donatello choked on his words, the lump in his throat pressing hard on him.

Leonardo's vision left him, a solid blackness taking over his sight. It scared him even more, and he squeezed Donnie's hand again to see if he was still alive. The darkness got too much for him, and he was soon in hysterics. "Donnie, Donnie it's all dark!" He cried.

"You're okay, you're okay Leo." Donatello tried to reassure his brother, but he was inconsolable. How do you calm someone who is on the verge of death, and is also completely terrified that they're dying? That's the thing, you can't. So all Donatello could do was rub Leo's hand, and wipe away his tears with his other.

Then came the part when Donatello knew it was the end for his older brother. The time when Leo's breaths became lighter, and less consistent. His heart broke in two, when Leo's tears began to stop, and the grip on his hand loosened.

"I love you Leo, wherever you go, give me- us, the strength to live without you." Donatello sobbed, not even feeling the pain in his legs, not even remembering they were broken. Donnie felt nothing but the pain in his heart, the aching pain that was grief. Leonardo, his oldest brother, his leader, was dead.

Donatello weeped, squeezing at Leo's lifeless hand. He finally closed Leo's eyes, and that's when he crossed the line into hysteria.

"Why did you leave me! Come back to me! Squeeze my hand Leo! Open your eyes!" Donatello screamed into the night, squeezing Leo's hand and waiting for him to squeeze it back. Waiting for Leo to open his eyes and say he was still alive, but Leo never did what he said. "You're NOT DEAD!" Donnie screeched.

As Donatello yelled and screamed over the death of his brother, above on the building that he jumped off, Raph and Mikey heard his screams. Mikey looked over at Raph, hoping he had heard Donnie wrong but when Raph looked over at him with the same dread-filled look, he knew he had heard right.

Michelangelo refused to believe it but the heavy weight of grief crashed down on top of him. He rushed over to the edge of the building seeing Donnie sobbing over Leo's body. Mikey's heart shattered, tears gushing down his cheeks. His big brother Leo... Was dead?

Michelangelo, too distraught to remember the footbots that were stalking his moves, let out a shriek of surprise when the footbots snatched away his nunchucks, and grabbed both his arms, dragging him away from the edge of the rooftop. Raphael, too engrossed in his vigorous battle with so many footbots, failed to see his little brother getting dragged away.

After hard attempts to shake them off and failing, Michelangelo panicked, and called out for his brother. When his older brother didn't hear him over the loud racket of battle, and Donatello's screaming, Mikey's yells became panicked screams.

"Raph! RAPH!" Mikey screamed out, still getting forcefully pulled away by a swarm of footbots. It took a couple of attempts, but Raphael finally heard him, and quickly left his fight to come to the aid of his younger brother.

Raphael stabbed the two holding his brother, then went on to fight the rest of them, shouting to Michelangelo, "Go get your nunchucks Mikey. Quick! I can't hold all them off by myself!"

Michelangelo scrambled off to find where his nunchucks had went, not being able to locate them after a quick search while dodging attacks. He heard a yell, "Now!"

Looking up in confusion, Michelangelo found the source of the voice and seen Karai had yelled. His eye ridges knitted in even more confusion as to why she had just yelled out 'Now!'

Unfortunately for Michelangelo, he found out a split second later, when the tiny little dart embedded itself in his right leg. All too quick, the world became a slow motion blur, and soon enough, Mikey passed out. He hadn't even time to hit the floor when he had fallen unconscious.

Raphael, completely unaware his little brother was getting dragged away, continued to fight, when he heard the next order from Karai.

"One of them is down there!" Karai ordered them to chase Donnie, who would surely not expect them. Raph worked faster, kicked them all out of his way, and ran to the edge of the building, quickly checking the height unlike what Donatello did, and used the firescape to maneuver his way down.

The footbots followed him down, stalking Raphael's moves as he flipped down into the alley, rushing over to Donatello. Raphael pushed his greif back temporarily, and grew a bit frustrated at how Donatello hadn't moved to help them fight, but his annoyance quickly diminished when he seen the state of Donatello's legs.

He turned away, as much as he hated to admit it, he was squeamish towards stuff of that nature. Raphael forced himself to push that back too, and turned back to his brother.

"Donnie...what the shell happened you? No wait, tell me at the lair, we have to go! Right now!" Raphael was forced to turn around to defend them from the oncoming wave of footbots, his muscles aching from his previous fight on the rooftop above.

He stabbed one of his sais into a footbot's head, followed by numerous kicks balancing on one foot and knocking back several bots. Raphael stopped and panted, holding his sais up in a fighting stance as he prepared to fight again.

He took a look at the sewer grate a few feet from where he stood, and decided it was best to call it a night. Raphael ran over to Donatello, who was still holding onto Leo's hand, weakly shaking it in a sad attempt to try and get the blue-clad turtle to shake it back.

Raphael was about to reach down to lift Donatello, when he suddenly remembered about Michelangelo. He turned and made for the fire-escape, challenging the foot bots to follow him by nodding towards himself with his hands.

"C'mon' then!" Raphael growled, anger over his brother's murder getting to him. He had done so well at keeping his anger back, but it was slowly but surely submergeing from his insides, starting to cloud his better judgment.

Raphael jumped his way up the fire-escape, flipped onto the building rooftop, and found it empty excluding the foot bot body parts.

"What the?" Raphael said, thinking his thoughts out loud. His mind raced, where was Mikey? Where was Shredder and Karai?

And then, as if the world had decided to let him know where his enemies had fled, the rumbling of an engine filled the air, and then the sound of a vehicle backing up.

Raphael sprinted as quick as his aching legs would allow, almost tripping in his panic induced haste to reach the wall surrounding the rooftop. He looked over the edge, and seen Karai and Shredder in the large van Raphael knew was for holding them if they were captured.

Raphael frantically looked about the surrounding rooftops, but his youngest brother was nowhere to be seen, nowhere to be heard. It finally sank in on Raphael, that young Michelangelo must have been caught, and as Karai and Shredder's faces disappeared from view once the vehicle got turned around to get out of the large alley, the whole world seemed to crash and fall around Raphael.

Two of his brothers, gone. One dead, one captured by the enemy, and another badly injured, it was all too much for him to take in. Raphael's vision left him, it was all white rage. The building of emotion in such a short space of time had pushed his temper past the boundary line, so far that he seen nothing. He subconsciously pounded his fist off the wall, yelling and roaring the word 'no'. It took Raphael a few minutes to realise that his eyes had let the river of tears gush out like Niagara Falls.

Then he was aware of someone else screaming, and realised it wasn't his own voice. His vision sharply returned, and along with it came the agonising pain in his hand. Once he stopped pounding at the wall, one of his three fingers refused to move, and half of his hand was already heavily bruised. It made Raphael wonder how long he had being hitting the wall for without being completely aware of it.

Then came the agonised scream again, and Raphael quickly recognised it was Donatello. It was at that moment that Raphael realised the footbots hadn't pursued him when he ran to the edge of the rooftop, and now Donatello was sitting in the alley, defenceless.

Raphael sprinted on resisting legs, carelessly swinging down the fire-escape and into the alley below. Donatello was lying out on his front, his bo staff to the side in evidence that he had been trying to defend himself. Raphael furiously stabbed the footbots in range, then ran towards the remaining footbots, kicking one back at the wall while stabbing one to the right. One got by Raphael, and he threw one of his kunai knives at it, embedding right in the back of its head.

Raphael ran over to Donatello, his agonised whimpers heart breaking to hear. Raphael winced when he used his right hand to try and lift his younger brother, and Donatello seemed equally reluctant.

"Raph...Raph it's too sore." Donatello held his hand out to stop Raphael's attempts, his breaths laboured.

"Donnie we have to go home." Raphael tried to make him understand, but Donatello was in a great deal of pain. Raphael tried again to lift his brother.

"Ow ow. Raph I can't bend my knees, one of my thighs are broke." Donatello gritted his teeth, putting a hand on Raphael to stop him.

"How are we gonna do this then? It's gonna hurt either way Donnie.' Raphael frowned.

"I can't myself."

"C-call April." Donatello chanced turning around onto his back, yelping in pain as he did so.

Raphael got out his t-phone, pushing the button to call April with shaking hands. He needed to use his left hand to hold the device to his ear slit, his right hand too painful to use.

"Um...hey Raph." April answered, nervous as she never got a call from Raphael unless they were on a mission or something was very badly wrong. Since she was home in her father's apartment, she knew something had happened.

"April-"

"Oh GOD! AWO!"

"Raph? Raph w-what's wrong?"April's heart rate quickened. There was a rattling and the sound of the phone being moved around, someone's pained sobs muffled by the speaker being covered.

"April, oh shell... Aw no I can't look at it!" Raphael turned away from Donatello, unable to look anymore. "Squeeze my hand or something... No wait not that hand! AH!" Raphael's broken hand burned in pain as he subconsciously gave over his hand for his brother to squeeze.

April listened as two pain-filled yells emitted on the other side of the phone call. She paced her room, anxiously waiting for Raphael to come back to the phone.

"Ow Donnie let go!" April recognised Raphael's voice and waited rather paitently for Raph to come back, pacing quicker around her room.

"Don- aw sewer bunnies..." More rattling and rustling filled April's ear. She stopped pacing.

"Raph will you tell me what's going on? What's wrong?" Her voice attached itself on the pitch of concern, which was no different from the emotion she felt.

More rattling. "Ow... April can you meet me here? I need, um help. Serious h-help." Raphael's voice was now raw with emotion, unlike the relatively strong voice that had rang April.

"I'm on my way, where are you?" The teenager ran out of her room, pulling her jacket of the hook off the coat rack and yanking open the door.

"April where are you going?" Kirby O'Neil emerged from the kitchen, holding a bowl of popcorn fit for two. He set it down on the coffee table, and walked over to his anxious looking daughter.

"The guys need me dad." April held the door, lightly bouncing on her heels, ready to leave.

"Oh, well I just thought we could... watch a movie or something." Kirby said sadly, watching as April inched closer to outside the apartment door.

"Dad, I'd love to, I really would, but this is um...urgent." April said guitlily, forgetting Raphael was still on the other end of the phone.

"Oh okay April." Kirby replied a little sadly, but understanding that it must be really urgent for her to look so anxious. She gave him a quick hug, in which he kissed her forehead, and let her sprint off down the hall.

Raphael waited, growing impatient while he waited for April. He was both concerned and relieved that Donatello had passed out, because at least he wasn't in as much pain now.

But of course you can only have so much of a good thing. Donatello woke again, and could do nothing but cry in pain.

Despite Raphael's best efforts to comfort him, Donatello was just too sore for comfort. The screeching of tires caught their awareness, as April and Casey jumped out of Kirby's van once the vehicle came to a stop in front of the alley.

"Raph what happened?" April shivered once she opened her mouth to speak, the cold of night settling in as she jogged down to meet them. Upon getting close to the two turtles, she gasped and held her hand to her mouth.

"What's wro-oonngg ouch." Casey briefly turned away, frowning. He sat on his honkers as April knelt down beside Raph and Donnie, his eyebrows knitted together.

"Raph? Raph what happened?" April asked, putting her hand soothingly on Donnie's shoulder. Had he not been in so much pain right now, he would have grinned like a mad man that April had put her hand on him, but now he couldn't escape the unbearing pain and enjoy her company.

"They took im'. They took Mike and, Donnie I dunno how but he's broke both his legs..." Raph stared into blank space, rocking slightly as he retold his perspective of what happened. He couldn't bring himself to telling them about Leo, and his corpse lay only feet away.

April's eyes brimmed with tears, soon spilling over her cheeks and streaking her face. "B-but how did this happen Raph?"

"Patrol... Shredder and the foot was waitin for us..." Raph squeezed his eyes shut, his breath hitched in his throat as he slightly nodded his head into the corner of the alley, where Leo's body was.

April followed his nod, looking over into the corner but not seeing properly. She got up, Casey following after her. April shrieked when she got the length, jumping back and falling into Casey's arms. She turned around to face him, hugging Casey as she cried on choked sobs.

Casey couldn't hold in his emotions either. He buried his head in April's shoulder, holding her tightly as she started screaming. Casey held her closer, making soft hushing sounds to calm her.

"No he's not! No!" April sobbed, as everyone else in the alley gave in to their grief as well. It was too much too quick. She hadn't even been told Leonardo was dead, but when Raphael didn't tell her that what she thought wasn't true, she knew her conclusion was right.

Leonardo was dead, Michelangelo was gone, and they had no idea where to even start planning how to find him.


	2. Chapter 2

_Tuesday 15th December 2015_

 _It has been 2 weeks since Leo died, Mikey was taken and I broke both my legs._

 _The pain in my heart hasn't faded in the slightest. If anything it got worse. I miss Leo so much, and with Mikey gone it feels as though he too were killed that night._

 _The nightmares haven't ceased. I wish I could get just one nights sleep without waking up and crying to Splinter or Raph. April and Casey come down everyday. They are the glue to keeping our family together. Don't get me wrong, Splinter's great, but grief is having its toll on him too._

 _I never really wrote about what happened when we came home that night. I couldn't, for it was the worst night of my life. Splinter and Casey had to help pull my legs until the bones were set in the right place, and considering there was at least two bones broke in each leg, it was a long and agonising process._

 _Let's put it this way, I screamed until I had no voice left. Literally I have to write stuff down on a little whiteboard because I almost tore my vocal cords apart._

 _I'm actually glad Casey was there. He more than anyone has expierence with casts and broken bones because of his background with ice hockey. He helped April and Splinter with the casts currently on my legs. And Raph, he broke his right wrist, but it was self inflicted, although I did probably add to the damage when I squeezed his hand. But hey, I was in a lot of pain, I didn't know his hand was hurt._

 _Through all this me and Casey have gotten closer. I never thought I'd ever be friends with Casey Jones, but he has done so much for us. He had this old wheelchair from when he was 14 and he brought it down to the lair. If it weren't for it, I'd be in bed all day, and I wouldn't be able to cope if I was._

 _Well I must go, April and Casey on the way and I need to go hide my journal because I'd rather no one found it._

Setting my pen down on my bedside table, I closed the brown leather book over, and threw it under my bed.

Some hiding place, but the footsteps were too close to my bedroom door to put it in a better place.

The air seemed thicker, but it was just my crying that made my breath labourbed. Whenever I wrote in that journal of mine it would bring every last detail of what happened back to me. My heart truly is broken. I can't go ten minutes without my brain replaying what happened.

I wish it would stop doing that. I wish it would stop haunting me with nightmares when I sleep. I wish I wasn't so stupid that night and looked at how high I was dumb foundedly jumping from. If only the latter was true. Then non of this would have happened.

I personally hold myself responsible for pretty much all of it. If I had jumped down the fire escape like a normal ninja, then I could have tried to get Leo back to the lair. Save him, then Mikey wouldn't have been distracted, him and Raph could have retreated, and then the worst would have been was Leo's injuries.

But no. I had to blindly jump off the building, break both my legs, watch Leo die, and almost leave myself without a functioning voice box. Well done Donatello. Well done. You ruined your family.

Fat salty tears slid down my face at the thought. I'm such a cry baby. That's all I ever do. Work myself into a state that takes the whole day to get over, just to do it all over again the next day.

I look down at my legs. Both completely straight, in what feels like two ton casts. I deteste them with a passion. I hate the fact I can't bend them. Some days I hate that wheelchair, but I'd be lost if I didn't have it.

I stretch over and grab the handles on the back, pulling it over towards my bed. Now all I need to do is manoeuver myself into it. It's not in any way easy, but I hate being so needy. Not having any independence. Getting your rear end in is no problem, but pulling these heavy casts are a nightmare.

I put the leg holders up, then grab the leg closest to the wheelchair, shakily getting it on, then the same with the other. I get myself sitting rite before grabbing the rectangular whiteboard sitting on my bedside table, along with the black marker.

"Hey Donnie." April stood in the doorway, looking in.

'Hey April.' I wrote on my whiteboard, then holding it up so she could see.

"Voice still hasn't come back yet?" She asked sadly. I wiped the board clean with my hand.

'No.' I held it up again.

"Aw, it'll come back." She said hopefully. Thing is, April predicted it would be back in one week tops, it has now been two weeks.

'I'm not so sure anymore.'

"Don't say that Donnie, of course it will!" April said, refusing to be negative.

'Its been two weeks April.' I can't help but be negative. This whole situation has been nothing but misery and grief.

"It just needs time Mr. Negative, now do you want pizza or not?" She said opening the door fully so I'd fit out of it.

'Mr Negative?'

"Just come on Donnie." She said attempting to be slightly angry but failing.

I wheeled myself out, April following after. She had to help me get down the steps to the sofas and we parked ourselves next to Casey and Raph.

"Any luck Raph?" April asked, handing me some pizza and some for herself.

"He ain't there." Raph mumbled, just loud enough for me to hear.

"Oh." April came up short with a positive answer this time. Raph had went out on a hunt for Mikey for the third time, and he still hasn't the slightest clue as to where our youngest brother is. Shredder's lair had nothing, and two other Kraang labs came up empty. We are completely in the dark.

Raph gets up and heads for the exit, looking frustrated. His broken wrist isn't helping with his annoyance. I can only imagine what he'd be like if he was like me, confined to a wheelchair and lying in bed most of the time. He'd lose his sanity altogether.

Since I can only write on a whiteboard, he'll not see my question. Thankfully Casey asks for me.

"Raph where are you goin'?"

"Out."

"I'll come too."

"No, you won't." Raph walked on without looking back, Casey getting up and following him.

I ate my slice of pizza, staring at the ground. It's so awkward. I hate when Raph tenses the whole atmosphere, but I suppose I can't blame him, if I could I'd probably storm out too.

"Casey will keep him right." April assures me, but I just nod half heartedly, remaining my stare on the ground.

...

Raphael's POV

I can't take this anymore. Where in the fuck is Mikey? It's all my God damn fault! I should have watched him! Why did I just leave him?

I jump up the fire escape and on to the building above, sprinting across it and jumping on to the next one. I've never run this fast in my life, but it sure was quick.

"Raph! Slow down.." Casey was running after me, but he was falling way behind.

"Go back to the lair Casey!" I ran on, trying to lose him so he would have to turn and go back, but my energy was gone, I have to stop and breathe. Panting, I then recognised what building we were on - the one where Mike was taken and Leo was killed.

I couldn't take it anymore. I drop to my knees, where the scream started in my lower back, pushing up into my chest and then out my throat. I felt Casey's hand on my shoulder, as the tears flooded out of my eyes without my permission. Why Mike? Why Leo?

"I can't do this anymore Casey." I hate how emotional I've become, but I can't even help it. Leo's gone, Mikey might as well be gone, and Donnie can't even speak to me!

"It's okay Raph, we'll find Mikey." Casey hugged me, but not in a cringey sort of way, a friendly comforting way.

God knows how long we sat there, but quite frankly I couldn't care less. I felt so numb as the grief tore me apart inside. Everything seemed silent, so silent that I could hear my own heartbeat in my ears, as it tapped on and on... and on.

Then I realised I wasn't really listening to my own heart beating, it was Casey's hand tapping on my shoulder and his voice seemed distant as he called my name. It all seemed dream like, and time was glitching on me. Then his scream in my ear slit came;

"RAPH!" he shook me as he yelled, finally grabbing my attention and turning me by the shoulders so I would look at something that clearly scared him.

That's when my temper flared. There, standing on the other side of the rooftop was Shredder, alone and confident while he stared us down.

"You," I spat angrily, "You're the reason Leo's dead." Was all I was able to say, as I rose to my feet, unsheathing my one sai and getting in position to fight. No way was I passing an opportunity like this. I will have my revenge for Leo.

"Raph are you mad?" Casey began pulling me by my bicep, attempting to make me retreat, but that was cowardly, I'm not leaving unless I get my revenge, one way or another.

"I'm not leaving Casey, I'm gonna kill this bastard," I growled, snapping my arm out of his grasp. "Leave if you want, but this is for Leo."

"Raph all four...t-three of you couldn't beat im' and you can only use one of your hands, this is insane c'mon!" I stared straight in to Shredder's eyes as I lifted my sai, looking down for only a sec at my broken hand, or wrist, or whatever I broke...And began cutting the cast off with my sai.

"Raph! Man seriously no!" Casey tried taking the sai out of my hand, but I shrugged him off, still staring at Shredder as the cast fell on to the rooftop, crudely cut in half from my sai. I flexed my fingers, making a fist to get it used to moving again, but man does it hurt. If I were at home I'd give in to this pain, maybe even shed a tear it's that bad, but infront of Shredder I will show no weakness.

Casey took something out of my belt, but I didn't really care. I had both my sais and unless he wanted to take my shruiken, which would be stupid even for Casey to do, I'm all set for killing this fucker infront of me.

"For Leo." I whispered, holding my sais infront of my face, staring into them deeply before glancing towards the night sky, then to the ground, squeezing my eyes shut and thinking of Leo. 'I must beat Shredder, I must beat him,' I repeated in my head, clenching my sais tighter with each chant. 'This is my best opportunity, he's came by himself, this is the best chance I'll ever get." I snapped my eyes open, charging towards the man who murdered my brother. 'He WILL pay!'

Shredder dodged my first attack easily as I followed after him swinging my sais angrily. He stuck his leg out and tripped me, laughing mockingly as I slammed on to the hard rooftop, getting a nasty cut under my chin. Gritting my teeth at his mocking laugh, I jumped to my feet, rushing towards him again, jumping up and bringing my sais down to where his neck is. He caught me mid air by both my arms, and lowered me down so I was dangling in front of his face.

"So predictable, your anger ruins you," he crushed my plastron with his knee, letting me roll on to the rough rooftop surface. I managed a hoarse groan, the wind knocked out of me. "Potential, but you've already squandered it." He simply watched me hold my plastron while my stomach muscles seized up tightly, as I curled myself in to a ball.

I tried my best to stare him out, and I could hear Casey in the distance, talking to someone. "Red get Splinter here or somethin'! He'll kill him!" Now I realise what Casey took from my belt, he took my t-phone. Which meant I only had ten minutes tops to get my revenge. Shredder was staring right back at me, so I carefully and slowly moved my hand closer to my belt, finally getting the right chance and took out a smoke bomb, throwing it at his feet.

Thought the purple smoke I hear Casey yell my name, Shredder call out in surprise, and I hastily made it to my feet in time to throw down another smoke bomb so he couldn't find his way to me. Of course I wouldn't be able to see Shredder too, but the longer he's blind the better. I can go for a stealth attack.

I shrunk back towards the rooftop edge, not too close incase Shredder got to me first, and luck seemed to be on my side. I saw him wave his way through the purple smoke angrily, fanning it with his hands. I was just about to go on for the attack, when I heard an anguished cry, immediately thinking April or Splinter had arrived.

But boy did I think wrong.

It was Casey, and his cry turned into pained yells as the smoke cleared from the roof, revealing Shredder kicking him brutally as he lay doubled over on the rooftop surface. My anger boiled, but the guilt hit me hard. All I could do was push all the emotion away, because that was weakness. I have to kill Shredder, not let him make me feel bad.

I ran and leaped on his back, ripping his helmet off and hitting his head with the butt of my sais with all the strength I had. My broken arm ached, but I just kept hitting him. Shredder tipped towards the rooftop surface, and I thought it was over. That I had won.

But my first guess was wrong...again.

He tipped towards the ground and abruptly bucked me off his back. It was so unexpected I flew off him, rolling dangerously close to the rooftop edge. I got myself stopped just before I could fall off, and got to my knees again. This was tough, but the fire hadn't went out yet.

Pulling out a couple of shruiken, I flung them in his direction. Shredder ducked out of the way, and dodged the rest. He stared at me, standing up straight again. "So much spirit, yet your blind anger slackens your skills," he paused, and I stood panting in exhaustion and anger. "Hamato Yoshi is as good a teacher as he is a coward."

Then it was white. Just like when I broke my wrist, I see nothing as I yell and sprint for him. I know I'm attacking him, but I'm blind, just then my sight comes back suddenly, and I see Shredder's now bloody face as he grabs me by the plastron, slamming me into the rooftop surface and I hear something crack.

"You fight as good as Leonardo, pathetically." Shredder spat, putting his helmet back on and limping towards me. I ignore all the pain in my body, jump to my feet a littler slower than usual, and don't even yell, I scream.

"YOU MURDERED HIM! YOU ARE THE PATHETIC PIECE OF SHIT WHO HIDES BEHIND A GOD DAMN MASK!" I run for him again, throwing down my sais and jumping up and kicking him forcefully on the chest, sending him back. I let him stagger backwards a bit before running after him again and jumping to kick his stomach. I land the kick, and just as he's about to fall of the edge of the rooftop, he grabs my leg before I can get it out of his reach. Shredder falls off the building, taking me with him.

"RAPHAEL!" Splinter yells, as I just manage to see him before hitting my head of the edge of the building, falling down along with Shredder. Everything blurs, and my head begins pounding as we hit the ground, my shell definitely cracking along with my arm re-breaking on the impact.

I let out a hoarse whimper, pain shooting in all directions through me. This was it, I'm not getting my revenge tonight. But after this I definitely will find Mikey, and I will avenge Leo, if it's the last thing I do.

Then, everything goes black.

 **Hi! Forgive me, I'm only getting used to working this website XD It's really confusing... I'm really sorry for all the Leo lovers out there, but don't forget, nothing is impossible in Tmnt so...XD Thanks for reading, it's very much appreciated :)!**


	3. Chapter 3

The young turtle's eyes moved slowly over the cracked pieces of shell, observing every last minuscule detail. The patterns were now abnormal, instead of the perfect hexagons that decorated their most recognisable aspect. A jagged line ripped through the centre, shattering the nearest hexagons into minuscule, irretrievable pieces.

He laid his hand gently on the top, feeling the razor sharp pieces poke at his skin. Flinching slightly and removing his hand, Donatello plucked out the small pieces that had embedded in his skin. A few deeper than others let a tiny amount of blood out as he pulled them away, and he wiped his hand with the withered old rag that laid beside him.

The squeak of the marker against the whiteboard made the onlookers cringe. Donatello was used to the sound by now and knew he needed to refill his marker but never got around to doing it. He was too preoccupied with his own thoughts. 'What happened him?'

All attention was on Casey now, his right eye a deep shade of purple and a hand clutched tightly around his ribs and abdomen. "I just turned around and Shredder was there, I couldn't stop Raph from fighting so I rang you guys."

Donatello wiped his board clean with the rag that sat millimetres away from him, the squeaking of his marker indicating he was writing again. 'Did he fall a great height? His shell must have took a great force of impact to crack like this.' Donnie held the whiteboard up for him to see.

"Shredder took him off the building when he fell..." Casey let out a pain filled sigh watching as Donatello adjusted his glasses and wheeled himself back to examine his brother's head, noticing the particular outstanding bruise around his brother's left temple. Donatello lifted the small flashlight that was in his medical box, opening each of Raphael's eyelids to see both thankfully still reacting to light, but one was too small and the other too large. Immediately the word sprung to Donatello's mind, concussion. 'He has a concussion, we need an ice pack for his head and remove any jagged pieces of shell, clean the cuts and apply pressure to his shell until I can figure out how to fix it.'

April ran off to the kitchen to retrieve the requested ice pack while Splinter made a reluctant Casey lie down on the other bed in the laboratory to rest. As Donatello wheeled around quickly getting the bandages and cotton balls to begin cleaning the deep cuts in Raphael's shell, Splinter began picking out the razor sharp pieces with some tweezers. April returned quickly with two ice packs wrapped in thin cloths and gave one to Casey for his eye and gently laid the other on Raphael's bruised temple.

"Thank you April," Splinter gave her a genuine look of gratitude and she gave a small smile and a bow of her head in return. "Donatello, allow me to do that." Splinter held his hands out for Donatello to give him the cotton balls and the small bottle in his hands.

'Im able to do it sensei.' Donatello insisted, unscrewing the cap of the small medicine bottle. He felt absolutely useless, and wanted to have the chance to help someone for a change, and now that unfortunately he did have the chance to do something, Splinter was about to take it away from him.

"Donatello," Splinter repeated himself, "My son I am more than capable of doing it myself." Donatello reluctantly handed his father the items he requested, wheeling himself out of the way and watching as Splinter began the task at hand. Donatello almost felt a pang of jealousy hit as he watched his father's gentle movements on his immediate older brother.

"He'll be okay D, it's Raph he can take just about anything!" Donnie turned his head in Casey's direction as his whole face lit up, "You shoulda' seen him! He just cut his cast off like it was nothing and he almost had Shredder!" Casey spoke as though the whole thing was an action movie he'd just seen and was some excited five year old., "...well that is until Shredder kinda pulled him off the building too... But he so woulda' had him!"

Donnie looked up at April to see the same exasperated expression mirrored back at him.

This was going to be a long night.

...

The dark corridors seriously lacked light, the dusty cobwebs hanging loosely off the rusty roof. The long drawn out cries of ancient prisoners haunted the eerie hallways, echoing the full length of the floor.

Michelangelo sat huddled in the corner with his knees to his chest, trying to block out the crying of possibly human prisoners in the dark cells around him. The darkness scared him, the sounds scared him and thinking about his family saddened him. Every night he would cry himself to sleep thinking about Leonardo. Every night he would pray that the next day would be better, that his captors would leave him alone just for one day so some of his wounds could heal, but that prayer was never answered.

The only way to tell the time was the automatic flickering light bulbs that came on during night hours. That insistent, head ache inducing light bulb that flickered annoyingly made it hard for him to get much sleep. The constant screams and yells of distraught voices never ceased, the volume may have gotten lower, but it never stopped.

The walls on either side of him were opaque, filthy and cold, yet the door was nothing more than a rusty steel gate that proved stronger than it looked. The opposite cell was empty, although it wasn't empty when Michelangelo first came. A small and innocent 13 year old boy with messy brown hair and a tooth missing right where Donnie's was, had looked at Michelangelo in awe. He had expressed his love for turtles and seemed completely unfazed by Mikey's appearance, and had gotten distressed when Mikey cried at night. Numerous times the young boy asked what was wrong with Mikey, finally getting his answer a night before he had been taken away. Now Mikey had only mere memories of the sympathetic boy, and prayed the Kraang weren't as bad to children. The saddest thing to Michelangelo was, he didn't even the get the boy's name. He had simply replied, 'I don't have a name anymore.' And resumed their previous conversation.

A series of thumps emitted from the roof, as though someone drunk and big had staggered in. It quickly snapped Michelangelo out of his thoughts, as he looked towards the roof. A very loud voice boomed out seconds later, making Mikey wince.

"Hamato Yoshi's son!" Mikey's ears perked up at the sound of his father's name. He listened on anxiously, praying his father and two remaining brothers were okay. "Go on with the experiment." The thumping signalled his departure, and the definite sound of a door slamming confirmed it.

"Get lost furball, I can do this myself." A distant feminine voice sounded irritated, and was met with a growl.

"Stubborn little cub, let the stronger one handle this." Another voice challenged the first person, their voices getting that bit louder as they came in the direction of the hallway.

"I mean it Tiger Claw, get lost or I'll stick this where the sun doesn't shine!" The flickering light bulbs came on as the two figures made their way to the bottom of the hallway. "Leave!" Karai reached Mikey's cell and turned around to the irritated tiger. She wrenched the door open, flung in a smoke bomb and closed the door again although the smoke could drift out of the gate. Mikey immediately backed away but realised he had nowhere to go and was forced to inhale the yellow-ish smoke that made him feel tired and sluggish.

"Finally." Karai muttered as Tiger Claw left her alone. She came in as the smoke began to thin, keeping the metal portion of her armour that covered her mouth and nose in a raised position. "Calm yourself, breathing heavily won't make it any better."

Mikey looked up at her and calmed his breaths. He watched her wearily as he felt like his body was gradually getting heavier and heavier. Karai waited a few moments before sheathing her sword, apparently not needing it. She looked down at the small turtle with what seemed like a look of sympathy. "Look...about Leo..."

Mikey frowned, his eyes filling up with tears. He couldn't bring himself around to speak, and simply stared at the kunoichi in front of him.

"I didn't mean to kill him..." Karai lowered her voice to a level that Mikey strained to hear her. Mikey looked up at her in shock and anger, wishing he could get up and have his nunchucks and unleash a bout of nunchuck fury on her. "It was Shredder, he lied to me." Mikey didn't know what to believe. Was it Karai or Shredder? She first said it was her but now she had changed her story.

"Just tell me who killed him..." Mikey said miserably, the whites of his eyes still red from crying the previous night before.

"Shredder," Karai growled lowly, "I'll kill him. I'll end this all!" Mikey stared up at her in deep shock, considering her words.

"Dudette..." Mikey wasn't even sure what to say, gaping at Karai as she clenched the handle of her sword as she seemed deep in thought. She squeezed her eyes shut, and a tear slipped down her cheek as she let it fall.

"I'll get you out of here as soon as I can..." Karai opened her eyes and looked down at Mikey, "I know Splinter... Father will never accept me into his family after what I've done, but when you do get home don't ever leave it! Unless you absolutely have to." Mikey nodded his head in response as she stepped towards him.

The sound of someone coming for the hallway alerted them both. "Whatever you do Michelangelo," Karai frantically fought to get his half asleep body up, "Remember who the real enemy is!" She urged quietly, slinging his arm around her shoulders.

The young turtle processed what she had just said as they hobbled their way out of the cell and for the staircase at the end of the hall. After what seemed a long time walking the two reached the door to Stockman's lab and Karai suddenly stopped supporting him and grabbed his upper arm instead. "Don't fight," she told him quickly and Mikey opened his mouth to respond, "Just do it, it'll be so much easier Michelangelo." And with that she opened the door and led him inside.

"How many years has it been?" Tiger claw looked at his wrist in a mock way as if he were looking at a watch. "Oh you didn't age well on the journey." He snickered, standing against the wall in a relaxed manner as he crossed his arms over his chest.

"He spoke his first word! Finally after so many years you've actually grew a brain cell! Oh wait, it just disappeared along with your 'watch'." Karai grinned back at him not even stopping as he growled maliciously back at her. "Growl somewhere else kitty." She didn't spare the mutant a glance as she walked towards the fly mutant buzzing around his computer monitors.

The vertically standing table stood beside Stockman's table of chemicals and unused beakers. Mikey swallowed nervously as Karai began strapping him to it. He weakly fought against her, and she looked at him sympathetically. "Please Karai...no." She refused to meet his gaze as she stepped away from him, silently praying to Leonardo to forgive her for her role in all this.

Mikey weakly pulled at the restraints to no avail. The unknown smoke that he'd inhaled had rendered him weak, and now he hadn't a fighting chance in shell of avoiding what was going to happen next. He watched dreadfully as the mutant carefully approached him with the syringe filled with a deep blue liquid that immediately reminded Michelangelo of Leonardo's deep blue eyes.

"No! Get away from me!" Mikey struggled and turned his face in the other direction, away from the fly mutant. He whimpered as he felt the needle pierce his skin, feeling the cool liquid spreading up his arm, across his chest and up into his head. It felt like a mild brain freeze at first, gradually building up to a throbbing pulse all over his brain. He could only whimper as the blinding pain took a hold of his senses, and all of a sudden false memories appeared in front of his very eyes.

 _"Bumbling idiot... I hate you!" Donatello screamed down at him, his face set in a harsh glare as he crossed his arms. To Donnie's right stood Raphael, eyes ablaze with anger as though he were about to launch on him at any second._

 _"You ruin everything! You're no brother of mine!" Raphael leaned forward as he screamed at Michelangelo, truly detesting his little brother. Mikey's eyes filled with tears and he felt two feet tall as he cowered under the piercing glare of his siblings._

 _His heart clenched painfully at the sight of Leonardo, his transparent form wispy in appearance as he looked at Mikey in disappointment. He shook his head and lowered it, slowly dissipating as he rose up towards the roof._

 _Slowly the image distorted and a crackling like an untuned t.v took over as Mikey's sobbing was almost as loud as the crackling. Mikey knew that this was not real. His brother's didn't hate him, and it took all of Mikey's power to keep himself from believing it._

 _Then all he seen was a large figure stood in a candlelit room and immediately Mikey felt reassurance. "We will hunt them down, my son," Mikey found himself nodding a yes. "Never again will they hurt our family." Shredder turned around, placed a hand on Mikey's shoulder and immediately he felt a sense of security. Just like all those times Splinter was there for him._

 _And suddenly the very thought of Splinter made his blood boil. The thought of Leonardo, Raphael and Donatello had rendered him seething in anger. All he felt was the need to destroy them, make them pay for a false reason that was now drilled solidly into his head._

The memories ended, bringing Michelangelo back into Stockman's lab, where he not only wanted to kill his family, but he believed Shredder was his guardian, his protector. His father.

 **A:N - I'm sorry for the short chapter but I thought it should stop there :) Oh and about the whole Leo thing... And Mikey... *Gets out shield* Murder is a crime everyone... Just puttin' that out there! Hehe I just want to give a quick warning that Karai and Casey might seem slightly off character, Karai more than Casey. Thanks for reading and leave a review on what you think, thank you :D**


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